Bullying at school is something no parent wants their child to experience, but the reality is that many kids face it at some point. Whether it’s in the classroom, on the playground, or even online, bullying can take a toll on your child’s confidence and happiness. If you’re looking for real advice on how to deal with bullying at school, you’re definitely not alone. Every parent wants to keep their child safe and help them feel strong and supported.
This guide is here to walk you through the basics, how to spot the signs of bullying, what kinds of bullying are out there, how to talk to kids about bullying, and what you can actually do to help your child if they’re dealing with bullies at school. We’ll also dive into examples of cyberbullying and how to keep your child safe in the digital world.
WHAT DOES BULLYING AT SCHOOL LOOK LIKE?
First things first: bullying isn’t just about physical fights or name-calling. It comes in a bunch of different shapes and sizes, and it’s not always obvious right away. Here are the main types of bullying you might see at school:
Physical Bullying: This is the classic version, such as hitting, pushing, tripping, or any unwanted physical contact. It’s often the easiest to spot, but not always the most common.
Verbal Bullying: This can be just as hurtful as physical bullying. It’s things like name-calling, teasing, making threats, or saying mean things over and over.
Social/Relational Bullying: This one can be tricky to notice. It’s when kids are left out on purpose, when rumours are spread, or when friendships are manipulated. It can leave your child feeling really alone.
Cyberbullying: Welcome to the digital age, bullying doesn’t stop when kids leave school anymore. Cyberbullying happens online or through phones and tablets. Some examples of cyberbullying include:
- Sending mean or threatening texts or DMs
- Posting embarrassing photos or videos
- Spreading rumours or lies online
- Pretending to be someone else to hurt your child’s reputation
Cyberbullying can feel especially overwhelming because it can happen 24/7, and it’s hard to escape.
SIGNS OF BULLYING
Kids don’t always come right out and say, “I’m being bullied.” They might feel embarrassed, worried about making things worse, or just not know how to ask for help. That’s why it’s so important to keep an eye out for the subtle (and not-so-subtle) signs of bullying.
Sudden Changes in Mood or Behaviour
If your normally happy, outgoing child suddenly seems withdrawn, quiet, or uninterested in things they used to love, it could be a sign they’re struggling. Maybe they want to spend all their time in their room, or they stop hanging out with friends.
Drop in Grades or School Performance
Bullying can make it really hard for kids to focus at school. If you notice slipping grades, missing homework, or a sudden lack of interest in school, it’s worth checking in.
Reluctance or Refusal to Go to School
If your child starts making excuses to stay home, complaining of headaches, stomach aches, or just plain refusing to go, there might be more going on beneath the surface.
Unexplained Injuries or Missing Belongings
Physical bullying can lead to bruises, cuts, or torn clothes. If your child’s things keep going missing or coming home damaged, don’t ignore it.
Changes in Eating or Sleeping Habits
Stress from bullying can show up as trouble sleeping, nightmares, or changes in appetite.
Emotional Ups and Downs
Look for signs of anxiety, irritability, sadness, or sudden outbursts. Kids might cry more easily or seem on edge.
If you spot any of these signs, try to approach your child gently. Ask open-ended questions like, “You seem a bit different lately, do you want to talk about anything?” The goal is to create a safe space where they feel comfortable opening up.
HOW TO TALK TO KIDS ABOUT BULLYING
Having a real, honest conversation about bullying can make all the difference. Here’s how to get started:
Make It Safe to Share
Remind your child that they can always talk to you, no matter what. Let them know you’re on their side and that you’ll listen without judgment.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
Instead of “Did anything bad happen at school today?” try “What was the best and worst part of your day?” or “Is there anything at school that’s been bothering you?”
Listen, Really Listen
Sometimes kids just need to be heard. Let them talk, and show you’re listening by nodding, making eye contact, and repeating back what you hear.
Talk About All Types of Bullying
Share that bullying isn’t just physical, it can be words, exclusion, or things that happen online. Use real examples of cyberbullying to help them understand.
Encourage Honesty
Reassure your child that asking for help isn’t tattling, it’s brave, and it’s the right thing to do.
HOW TO DEAL WITH BULLIES AT SCHOOL
If your child is facing a bully at school, here’s how you can jump in and help:
Empower Your Child
Help your child practice standing up for themselves in a calm, confident way. You can role-play different scenarios together so they feel ready if something happens. Remind them it’s okay to walk away and seek help from an adult.
Problem-Solve Together
Ask your child what ideas they have for making things better. Sometimes just brainstorming solutions together can help them feel more in control.
Get the School Involved
Reach out to your child’s teachers or school counsellors. Schools usually have anti-bullying policies and want to help. Work together to create a plan and check in regularly.
Encourage Positive Friendships
Support your child in building friendships with kids who share their interests and values. Clubs, sports, or after-school activities can help them find their people.
Keep an Eye on Online Activity
Talk openly about online safety and privacy. Encourage your child to tell you if they see or experience cyberbullying. Set boundaries around internet use if needed, and help them block or report bullies.
Build Self-Esteem
Celebrate your child’s strengths and achievements, big or small. Kids who feel good about themselves are better equipped to handle tough situations.
Seek Extra Support If Needed
If bullying is really taking a toll on your child’s mental health, don’t hesitate to reach out to a counsellor or therapist. Sometimes talking to a professional makes all the difference.
Be a Role Model
Show your child what healthy, respectful relationships look like. Handle conflicts calmly and kindly, and let them see you standing up for yourself and others in positive ways.
PREVENTING BULLYING
While you can’t protect your child from every tough situation, you can give them tools and confidence to handle challenges. Here’s how:
- Stay Informed: Learn about bullying and its impact. There are great resources and support groups out there.
- Keep Talking: Make check-ins a regular part of your routine, not just when something seems wrong.
- Watch for Signs: Trust your gut if you notice changes in your child’s behaviour or mood.
- Partner With the School: Keep an open line with teachers and staff. Don’t be afraid to speak up if you have concerns.
- Encourage Kindness and Inclusion: Talk about empathy, respect, and standing up for others.
CYBERBULLYING
With so much of kids’ lives happening online, cyberbullying is one of the most common, and sneakiest, types of bullying at school. Here are some examples and how you can help your child respond:
Mean or Threatening Messages
Remind your child not to respond and to save any messages as evidence. Help them block the sender and report the behaviour to the platform or the school.
Embarrassing Photos or Videos
If someone posts something without your child’s consent, report it immediately. Encourage your child never to share private images, even with friends.
Spreading Rumours or Fake Accounts
Support your child in reporting fake accounts or false information, and let them know they’re not alone.
WHEN TO SEEK HELP
Sometimes, bullying has a big impact on a child’s mental health, causing anxiety, depression, or even thoughts of self-harm. If you notice ongoing distress, withdrawal, or anything that worries you, please reach out for help. Our Counsellors and therapists can offer support, coping strategies, and a safe space to talk.
Learning how to deal with bullying at school is all about staying connected, being observant, and taking action when needed. By knowing the signs of bullying, understanding the types of bullying (especially with the rise in cyberbullying), and knowing how to talk to kids about bullying, you’re giving your child the best chance to feel safe, valued, and empowered.
No family has to face bullying alone. If you’d like to chat with a professional or need more guidance, contact our team at Strength Counselling, we’re always here to help.