This article discusses suicide and emotional distress. If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide, call or text 9-8-8 anywhere in Canada. Support is available 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If someone’s safety is at immediate risk, call 9-1-1 or go to the nearest emergency department.
When someone we care about is struggling, it can be difficult to know what to say. We may worry about saying the wrong thing, making the situation worse, or bringing up something they do not want to discuss.
But a caring conversation can make a meaningful difference.
You do not need to have all the answers or be a mental health professional to offer support. Being willing to notice, ask, listen, and help someone connect with appropriate resources can remind them that they do not have to carry what they are experiencing alone.
RECOGNIZING THAT SOMEONE MAY BE STRUGGLING
There is no single sign that tells us someone is thinking about suicide. Some people may show several noticeable changes, while others may show very few. A person might talk about feeling hopeless, trapped, worthless, or like a burden. They may withdraw from friends, family, work, school, or activities they once enjoyed.
You might also notice significant changes in their mood, sleep, or behaviour, increased use of alcohol or other substances, unusual risk-taking, or reckless behaviour. Other signs can include giving away meaningful belongings, saying unexpected goodbyes, expressing that others would be better off without them, or talking or posting about death or suicide. These signs do not always mean someone is considering suicide, but they should not be ignored. If something feels different, it is okay to check in.
ASK DIRECTLY AND WITH CARE
Many people worry that asking about suicide will put the idea into someone’s mind. It will not. Asking directly can open the door to an honest conversation and show the person that it is safe to tell you how they are feeling.
Choose a private, calm setting when possible. You might begin with:
“I’ve noticed that you haven’t seemed like yourself lately. How are you doing?”
“You’ve mentioned feeling hopeless, and I’m worried about you.”
“Are you thinking about suicide?”
Use clear and compassionate language. Avoid replacing the word “suicide” with vague phrases that could make the question confusing.
If the answer is yes, try to remain calm. Your response can help the person feel safe enough to continue talking.
LISTEN WITHOUT TRYING TO FIX EVERYTHING
It is natural to want to make the pain go away. However, statements such as “look on the bright side,” “other people have it worse,” or “you have so much to live for” can unintentionally make someone feel misunderstood or ashamed.
Instead, give them space to speak and listen without judgment.
You could say:
“Thank you for telling me.”
“I’m really glad you shared this with me.”
“I may not fully understand what you’re experiencing, but I’m here with you.”“You don’t have to face this alone.”
You do not need to offer perfect advice. Being present, believing what they tell you, and taking their feelings seriously are meaningful forms of support.
HELP THEM CONNECT WITH SUPPORT
You can care deeply about someone without being able to provide all the support they need. Encourage them to connect with a counsellor, physician, crisis responder, trusted family member, or another appropriate source of help.
Offer to take the next step with them. This might mean:
- Sitting with them while they call or text 9-8-8
- Helping them contact a healthcare professional
- Driving them to an appointment or emergency department
- Reaching out to another trusted support person together
- Helping them create a plan for staying safe
- Checking in again later that day or the following day
If you believe there is an immediate danger, do not leave the person alone. Call 9-1-1 or take them to the nearest emergency department.
Do not promise to keep suicidal thoughts a secret. Their safety matters more than maintaining confidentiality between the two of you.
CONTINUE TO CHECK IN
Support should not end after one conversation.
A short message such as “I’m thinking about you,” “How are you feeling today?” or “Would you like some company?” can help someone feel remembered and connected.
Continue to check in without pressuring them to talk. Small, consistent acts of care can be powerful, especially when someone is feeling isolated or believes they are a burden.
REMEMBER TO CARE FOR YOURSELF TOO
Supporting someone through a suicidal crisis can feel frightening, overwhelming, and emotionally exhausting. You may experience worry, guilt, helplessness, or uncertainty about whether you are doing enough.
Speak with someone you trust, connect with a mental health professional, and be honest about your own limits. Caring for yourself does not mean you are abandoning the person. It helps you offer support without carrying the situation entirely on your own.
THERE IS HOPE AND HELP IS AVAILABLE
Suicidal thoughts can feel consuming, but feelings and circumstances can change. With compassionate support, professional care, and meaningful connection, people can move through periods of intense emotional pain.
During Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, and throughout the year, let’s continue creating space for honest conversations about mental health.
You do not need the perfect words to reach out. Sometimes, simply asking, listening, and staying present can be the beginning of someone receiving the help they need.
If you or someone you know is thinking about suicide:
Call or text 9-8-8 anywhere in Canada for free, confidential crisis support, available 24/7.
If there is an immediate risk to someone’s safety, call 9-1-1 or visit the nearest emergency department.
Strength Counselling provides compassionate online counselling for individuals across Canada. If you are looking for ongoing mental health support, contact our team to learn more about our counselling services.