Maintaining a healthy and fulfilling relationship can be challenging, and it’s not uncommon for couples to face issues that require professional intervention. Many couples turn to counselling as a means to navigate these challenges and strengthen their bond. However, a common dilemma arises when one partner is willing to seek therapy while the other refuses to participate. In this blog, we’ll explore what a patient can do if they find themselves in this situation, as well as the potential benefits and alternatives to traditional couples counselling.


Before diving into strategies for addressing this issue, it’s essential to understand why a spouse might be resistant to attending therapy.

  • There is still a stigma associated with seeking mental health help, which can deter some individuals from attending therapy.
  • The idea of discussing personal issues with a stranger can be intimidating and anxiety-inducing for some people.
  • Some individuals may not fully recognize or acknowledge the extent of the relationship problems and therefore don’t see the need for therapy.
  • Trust issues within the relationship might make one partner hesitant to open up in a therapeutic setting.
  • Poor communication within the relationship can lead to misunderstandings and make it challenging to discuss the idea of therapy.


Open and Honest Communication

The foundation of any successful relationship is communication. Start by having an open and honest conversation with your spouse about your desire for therapy. Express your feelings and concerns, emphasizing that you believe therapy could be a helpful step in strengthening your relationship. Avoid blaming or accusing; instead, focus on sharing your own experiences and emotions.

Educate and De-stigmatize

Many people have misconceptions about counselling. Share information about the benefits of therapy, how it’s a tool for personal growth and not a sign of weakness. Address any concerns your spouse might have, and provide reassurance that therapy is a safe and confidential space.

Seek Individual Counselling

If your spouse is still resistant to couples counselling, consider seeking individual therapy for yourself. Individual counselling can provide you with valuable tools to better understand and manage your own emotions and reactions within the relationship. As you grow and develop, it may positively influence your relationship dynamics.

Set Boundaries

Establish healthy boundaries within your relationship. While it’s essential to work together on issues, you can still protect your emotional well-being by defining what behaviours or situations are unacceptable to you. Discuss these boundaries with your spouse and reinforce your commitment to self-care.

Consider Online or Self-Help Resources

If your spouse remains unwilling to attend traditional counselling, explore alternative resources. Online couples therapy platforms, such as our Strength Counselling online sessions, self-help books, and relationship-building exercises can be valuable tools for couples willing to work on their relationship independently.

Wait for the Right Moment

Sometimes, patience is key. Your spouse may eventually become more open to the idea of counselling as they witness the positive changes in you and your relationship. Continue to communicate and revisit the topic periodically.

Consult a Professional for Guidance

If you’re struggling to make progress or the issues in your relationship are becoming increasingly concerning, consider consulting a counsellor individually. They can provide guidance on how to navigate the situation and offer strategies for coping with a resistant spouse.

Navigating a relationship when your spouse refuses to attend counselling can be challenging, but it’s not an insurmountable obstacle. By focusing on open communication, education, self-care, and patience, you can take steps to improve your relationship, even if your partner is initially resistant.

Remember that therapy, whether individual or couples, is just one tool among many for building a healthier and happier partnership. Ultimately, the willingness to grow and evolve together is what can make the difference in your relationship’s future.

If you would like to discuss mental health and therapy with our team, or talk to a professional for more information, please contact us HERE.